The Power of Coaching
Through the work we do at Shenomics, we meet phenomenal women, almost every day – women entrepreneurs, women in the corporate world, women just joining the corporate world, senior women leaders – we meet them all. I have witnessed the impact coaching has had on so many of them, and I learn from each of them as they give me permission to be a part of their life, and put in the dedicated work to move closer to their goals – whatever that might be.
My foray into coaching has been relatively recent – although I had heard about coaching many years ago, I had not had a personal inclination towards understanding more about the concept of coaching until relatively recently. Having been trained as a coach since, and been coached myself (and coached numerous others), I am now a fervent proponent of the idea that everyone needs a coach (this TED talk by Dr. Atul Gawande talks about why in such a beautiful way – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m9lfTxCBgFw). What has surprised me however is the misconception that still prevails about coaching, and the questions I have been asked by family, friends and acquaintances about what it means when I say – “I partner with individuals as they try to navigate through their lives and be the best version of themselves – in other words, I am a coach”.
There are many myths/questions about being a coach I feel the need to address here:
A coach does not need to be an expert in your field of work
Yes I know, this seems hard to grapple with. I struggled with this too – I used to think it was important to be an expert in a specific field, and then coach people who worked in that specific industry, because I would be able to relate to them better. However the more I researched and read about coaching, and the more people I spoke to, the more I understood that my role as a coach was not to provide the solution to anyone. As a coach, my role is to be a thought partner, and prod the other person by asking powerful questions – which does not require me to be a subject matter expert in anything – except in the art of deep listening. A great coach is someone who can create shifts in an individual by asking the right questions at the right time.
Coaching is not just about talking to someone else
We talk to many people in our lives. Our friends, family, partners, colleagues, neighbours, gym buddies – but these cannot be considered the same as coaching conversations. Coaching is a deep and, very often, intense conversation that will likely make you uncomfortable, force you to think of answers to questions you probably did not want to ask yourself, and challenge yourself to think about something in a new light – none of which are easy to do. Coaching also requires a significant amount of willingness on your part to want to work on yourself, and invest in yourself. Being coached is by no means an easy process – but like anything that makes you uncomfortable, it can be the best thing you do for yourself.
Coaching is not the same as mentoring, nor is it therapy
This is something a lot of people get confused with. A mentor is someone who can support you with a specific area you would like support on, and can give you solid advice on what you can do to get better, whereas therapy looks at helping you delve into your past to find triggers for what you are experiencing today. Both are important, and both are needed at different points in a person’s life. Coaching conversations, on the other hand are forward looking – they do not try to understand what happened in your past in order to help you to move forward – a coaching conversation will focus on where or who you want to be, and identify ways to help you get there. Again, as a coach, the only thing I can do is ask you questions that help you decide what you would like to do.
You cannot expect to see results overnight with coaching
The idea of coaching is not to provide you with an immediate solution to a challenge you are facing. The process of coaching takes time, because it requires you to change old (and comfortable) ways of thinking, of doing things or of reacting to situations. Coaching gives you an opportunity to have time to clarify your thoughts, something that is increasingly rare in this world of constant distraction. It also helps one prioritise and take baby steps towards a larger goal, that might be ‘too scary’ or ‘too ambitious’. Coaching provides a break from your normal routine and helps you identify the tools, and gifts you have within yourself, and leads to much greater self awareness.
Being coached, for me, has been an empowering experience. It is emboldening to find answers to questions I have been grappling with by myself, instead of have someone else, anyone else, tell me what to do. I have also found that this means I take a lot more responsibility for my actions, and inactions – a process which has helped me live a life I am proud to live. I am honoured that as a coach, I get to be a partner for that short while, in the journey of many ambitious and inspiring women.
