Want to be Happier? Close more doors!

A few months ago, my husband and I went out shopping for a coffee machine. We wanted to get a simple replacement for our previous machine that had broken down, but we ended up buying a much fancier one, as well as a much bigger one than we needed. Why?

Because, “Look! This one also gives us the option of frothing milk.”
How many times have we actually used the milk frother since we got the machine? Zero.

We make this mistake in so many facets of our lives. We are wired to go for more options and to keep as many doors open as possible because, “hey, you never know when you might need that option.”

And so, we buy gadgets with a lot more features than we really need. We hold on to clothes for years, even if they have gone out of fashion, or our body size has changed. As parents, we keep our children occupied with multiple activities, sometimes despite the toll it might take on them, because we want to give them as many options as possible. In our professional lives too, we might ponder over the many different paths our career could take.

But as Dan Ariely writes in Predictably Irrational, for every door that you keep open, you pay a price. Not just monetarily – yes, you often do pay more for gadgets with more features, but you also pay a price mentally and psychologically.

When you believe you can be, do and have anything you want, in wanting to be anything you could be, do anything you could do or have anything that you could have, you sometimes forget where to draw the line.

If I look at my life over the last few years, every door that I have closed has actually made me happier…

 I’ve closed the door on buying more clothes. I’m on a multi-year shopping fast, and that has de-cluttered my mind and my home.
 I’ve closed the door on eating non-plant based foods, and that has cleaned up my diet and given me more energy.
 I’ve closed the door on consuming social media at the beginning of my day, and that frees up my mental space to focus on other more important things.
 In my work as well, I have closed the door on taking on certain kinds of consulting work, or to work with certain kinds of clients. It’s that clarity and focus that has allowed me to grow my business exponentially over the last 9 years.

We may think having more options makes us happier, but research shows what actually makes us happier is to close the door on more options.

Closing doors helps you experience a greater sense of commitment to your chosen path, reduce decision fatigue, and focus your efforts on what matters most to you. As Barry Schwartz writes in the Paradox of Choice, “Choose less and feel better.”

Here’s a question I would like to leave you with:  What are some doors you are choosing to close?

Warmly,
Bhavna Toor
Chief Mindfulness Officer
Shenomics