PAST or FUTURE What Shapes You More?

What influences who you are today more – your past or your future?

Let me elaborate. Look at your actions and behaviors in the present moment. Now reflect on these following questions. Why are you choosing to spend this day the way that you are? Why are you prioritizing certain goals above others? Why did you choose to pick up and read this book?

What really motivates you to take the kind of actions you are taking today?

Is that a function of your past, for example – the kind of experiences you’ve had in your life? Or, is it a function of your future – the kind of hopes, goals, and dreams you have for your future?

You might be inclined to say the past. Traditional psychology from the likes of Carl Jung and Sigmund Freud had us believe that we are, to a great extent, a prisoner of our past. Your personality – the sum total of your habits, your behavior, your thoughts, and your beliefs – is a function of your past. In particular, your childhood experiences play a huge role in shaping you into the adult you are today.

But is that really the case?

Let me share with you what the answer is for people during the most extreme of circumstances. At this point, there have been multiple studies looking at surviving prisoners of war, including survivors of the Holocaust, to understand what allowed them to withstand the horrors of their circumstances long enough to see light on the other side. What these studies have found, time and again, is that what kept the survivors going is a clear hope or vision they had of what the future could hold for them.

Victor Frankl, a survivor of the Holocaust, who lost his entire family in the concentration camp and went on to write about his experience in the best-seller Man’s Search for Meaning, says this: “In the Nazi concentration camps, one could have witnessed that those who knew that there was a task waiting for them to fulfill were most apt to survive.” Quoting Neitzsche, he added, “He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.”

In short, they were pulled by a vision of their future. It is their future self that influenced how they were showing up at any given present moment.

What this means for the rest of us is that no matter how unfortunate your past was or even how far from ideal your present might be, if you can paint a clear enough picture of what you want your future to look like, the power of that to pull you forward is significantly greater than the power of your past to pull you back.

This is an idea that is now even supported by a new branch of psychology being pioneered by Martin Seligman called Prospection. Seligman – considered the father of positive psychology, says what really sets humans apart, in comparison to other living beings, is actually our ability to Prospect – to imagine new possibilities, to imagine a new future for ourselves, and to work towards that.

How can you make sure your future shapes your present more than your past? Let’s begin with this one thing –  get clear on your top 3 priorities in life. Let’s say, that’s your work, your relationships and your health. Then, for each of these priorities, give yourself a clear goal to work towards that lights you up, pulls you forward, and gives you a feeling of fulfillment as you imagine making progress towards it.

As the famed business coach Dan Sullivan shares, “The only way to make your present better is to make your future bigger.”

So, the question I leave you with is – How can you make sure your future is bigger than your past?

Warmly,
Bhavna Toor
Chief Mindfulness Officer
Shenomics