Are you helping or are you a HELPER?

Dear Friend,

Are you helping or are you a HELPER?

Are you reading more OR are you an avid READER?
Do you work out several times a week OR are you a FITNESS FREAK?
Do you like helping others on your team OR are you a great TEAM PLAYER?

What’s the difference, you ask?  

Isn’t the statement on the left the same as the statement on the right?

Let me share with you a quick study:

The University of California ran a study with a group of pre-schoolers to see who would be more likely to help with chores and household tasks.

With the first group, help was referred to as a verb – “Some children enjoy helping.”
With the second group, help was referred to as a noun – “Some children choose to be helpers.”

Guess who performed better on the tasks?

The helpers!

Why?

Because the first is just something you do.
The second is your identity. It is WHO YOU ARE.

And that, my friend, is the key to change in any sphere of our lives and career, and equally true for children and adults.

If you want to make a permanent shift in how you show up in an area of your life, don’t just change what you do,

Change how you see yourself
Change what you say about yourself
Change what you believe about yourself

In other words, change your IDENTITY.

As James Clear writes in Atomic Habits,

“If you’re looking to make a change, then I say stop worrying about results and start worrying about your identity. Become the type of person who can achieve the things you want to achieve. Build identity-based habits now. The results can come later.”