This is my #1 strategy for building a network

Dear Friend,

As someone who is focused on advancing her career, I am sure you are aware of just how important investing in the right set of relationships can be.

When you build a network of supportive relationships, those relationships can
 Open more doors for you
 Introduce the right set of opportunities to you, and
 Become your biggest advocates

Here is what my #1 strategy has been to build these relationships…

Become a PAIN DETECTIVE!

Let me explain…

There is a practical dimension to this, and a spiritual dimension.

Let’s begin with the practical dimension.

First, a quick story.

Early on in my career I had to share a 3-hour car ride with a senior leader in the firm I was working in at the time, to attend a work event.

I was a junior marketer on the team, and he was the national sales director.

I remember feeling incredibly nervous, thinking, “What could I possibly talk to this person about for 3 hours?”

Fortunately, I didn’t have to wonder for long because he had a string of questions for me:

“Bhavna, since you just joined the team, you would have a fresh perspective on this…
– What do you think about the processes we have in place?
– What do you think is working?
– What do you think is not working?
– How do you suggest we fix what is not working?”

I thought I’d be frank in sharing exactly what the pain points were in my opinion, and by the end of the car ride, I even offered to take the lead in addressing some of those pain points.

A part of me thought, “Gosh, I have spoken too much. Surely I’m going to get fired now.”

But the opposite happened.

He was so appreciative of my candor and proactiveness in addressing the pain points in the team that after that day, he became my strongest advocate and supporter in the organization!

Now, the spiritual dimension…

There is not a single human being alive who does not suffer in some way.

If, out of genuine compassion, you seek to understand what causes that person to suffer, personally or professionally…

In other words, you try to detect their pain…

And you then take the initiative to lessen their burden or pain in some way,

That then becomes the strongest foundation for building a lasting relationship with that person.

As Joe Polish writes in What’s-In-It-For-Them, “To be better at life and relationships, learn to ask, ‘How are they suffering, and how can I help?’”

So, go become a Pain Detective!