Being More ‘You’ Everyday
Our relationship with self is akin to the movement of the two hands of a clock. The beginning of our lives is the hands of the clock at midnight, when we are young, in perfect sync with ourselves, and saying and doing as we feel. As time passes, the minute hand begins to move away from the hour hand, and we start to disconnect from ourselves. Life gets busy, there is too much noise in our head, and what others think about us begins to colour our opinion of ourselves. We make choices based on perceived value – what we “should” do – as we slowly lose sense of our own values and needs.
As the minute hand of the clock moves to six, we are farthest from ourselves. Mid-life crisis maybe? We feel trapped. This is the phase when we begin to ask questions that have the potential to bring us back in harmony with ourselves.
Questions that steer us back to where we belong
Who am I? What is my essence?
Why am I doing what I am doing?
What is my purpose?
What are my gifts?
What is holding me back from living the way I want to?
What are my needs that are crucial for my well-being? Which of them are not being met?
What will be my legacy?
My journey of soul searching
In my own journey, when the metaphorical clock hand touched six, I began asking myself these questions. The process of finding the answers led to perspective shifts, breaking down of beliefs, and discovering a more authentic me. For the longest time I’d believed that I’m a people manager, but connecting with myself helped me understand that things are managed, not people. What I truly loved was seeing genius in those in front of me and helping them bring their exceptional work to the world. I loved helping people discover and express their true potential. I realised that I prefer coaching, and not managing people.
Designing the ideal day
That’s not all that the self-questioning did. I wondered how I could be more of myself every single day, and so, I wrote down all that is dear to me – coaching, self-expression, style, reading, writing, seeing the genius in the person in front of me, exploring the mind (mine and others’), and having deep conversations. A few of the interests seemed disconnected but I figured that my perfect day would be a mix of them.
I feel so much more connected with myself, and present now. My usual day now has deep conversations as a central theme – through the coaching sessions that I absolutely love, and via personal projects like 100 Conversations. The coaching sessions give me the opportunity to see the genius in the person in front of me, to explore their mind, make a difference in their life and hopefully leave behind wonderful memories.
Each day I also devote time to other activities that bring me joy and satisfaction. I read inspiring content for at least an hour, and I take time out to write. Self-expression through style is another important aspect of my life, which I make time for. Getting dressed is a fun ritual for me; creating unique outfits that represent me in the most authentic way is something I truly enjoy. It also gives me immense pleasure to coach others on style and expression, both of which play a role in how we show up in the world.
Arriving at the answers
Asking the crucial, existential questions has helped me connect with myself, bring more of “me” to this world, and derive a sense of contribution.
I must tell you this though: answers did not come easy. I read, researched, and spent hours writing and reaching out to excellent coaches and mentors. I think it is important not to look for these answers in a vacuum. It is best to find them in an environment that is friendly and feels safe. I suggest getting in touch with a coach who could guide you through this fascinating journey so you are connected with, and true to yourself every day of the process and beyond. You could of course, and by all means, start on your own!
Journaling is a great way to explore what is within you. I’ll leave you with a few easy questions – start by answering these.
What activities make you come alive?
What makes you feel connected with yourself?
What would make your day fabulous?
