Finding Joy in Being Wrong

The other day I was having a conversation with a friend, and I casually made the remark, “Oh, that sounds like the blind leading the blind.” My friend looked visibly uncomfortable as I said that. She proceeded to tell me how we need to be a lot more mindful in using phrases like “blind” “tone-deaf” or “lame” because they could be considered offensive to persons with disabilities. I was, of course, deeply embarrassed; that was not a perspective I had considered.

Let me ask you – how do you feel when you realize you are wrong about something? Most of us don’t feel very good. We don’t feel good because it is so easy to attach our identity and indeed our self-worth to being right – to having the right set of opinions, to saying the right things, to doing the right things – and when any of that comes into question, it feels like our very sense of self is being threatened.

But, as we all know, it’s not possible to be right all the time, and if we don’t make ourselves more open to being wrong, more open to learning, then all growth and progress comes to a stop.

So, how can we make ourselves more open to being wrong, and indeed, find joy in being wrong?

It all comes down to what we attach our identity to. As Adam Grant writes in Think Again, we have to detach our identity from our ideas and opinions, and attach our identity to something larger and something that is worthy of attaching our identity to, and that is our values.

If instead of thinking of yourself as someone who is always right, you think of yourself as someone who say, lives by the core values of courage, humility and kindness, above all else, then the next time an idea you hold comes into question, you can then say –

“Yes, I was wrong, but I had the humility to admit it.”

“Yes, I was wrong, but I had the courage to have a difficult conversation about it.”

“Yes, I was wrong, but I chose kindness towards others and myself in that moment in which I discovered I was wrong.”

When being wrong simultaneously becomes an opportunity for you to uphold your values, then surely, that is a moment for celebration. That is a moment for experiencing joy.

As well all know, it is only when we embrace the discomfort of being wrong that we have a chance to break our biases and evolve our beliefs. Both are necessary if we are going to create a space that is more open and inclusive of diverse perspectives of observing and experiencing the world around us.

The question I leave you with is, How can you find joy in being wrong? What are the values you would like to uphold in the moments in which you are wrong?

Warmly,
Bhavna Toor
Chief Mindfulness Officer
Shenomics