I used to be petrified of Public Speaking…

Dear Friend,

How do you view speaking in public?

Does it fill you with excitement or dread?

If you are like most people, it’s probably dread. Public speaking has been ranked as one of the most common fears people have, second only to the fear of death.

As the joke goes, “At a funeral, you’d rather be the person in the casket, than the one giving the public eulogy!”

Speaking is not something that came naturally to me. I remember once in high school I got nominated to take part in a debating competition. As I sat down to prepare the night before, the thought of speaking in front of a large audience of my peers, whose opinions had the ability to make or break my reputation, or so I thought, was terrifying.

Long story short, the fear of messing up had me completely paralyzed, so much so that the next morning, I just decided to call in sick. I did a complete no-show.

I was so ashamed of disappointing everyone – my teachers, my friends and, most of all, myself that that day I made a solemn promise to do whatever it takes to overcome my fear of public speaking. 

Bit by bit, I challenged myself to speak more and more – in college during group discussions, at work during client presentations, at various community events and beyond.

It wasn’t always perfect; far from it. But every time I dared to speak no matter how much my voice would shake, I sent a powerful message to my mind that, “I can do this.”

Fast forward to today, I can speak with ease in front of hundreds, even thousands of people. It is a skill that has served me well and a skill, I believe, any one of us can build with conscious intention. Here are just a few techniques that I try to observe each time.

One, change the script in your head

One of my favorite words is pronoia. The opposite of paranoia, pronoia is harboring the delusional belief that the whole universe is working in your favor, and that everyone is wishing for your success.

When it comes to public speaking, this idea is actually not all that delusional.

Let’s say, you’ve been asked to deliver a presentation at work. More than likely, that’s because your boss believes you have a certain level of expertise on the subject. As for everyone who comes to listen to you, they too are hoping you would make the best use of their time.

In other words, the default assumption everyone enters the room with is not that you are incompetent and that you will fail, but that you are competent and will teach them something. Everyone is truly wishing for you to succeed.

Two, visualize success.

Another way to calm your nerves and prevent your mind from going down a dark path is to redirect it towards images of success, to visualize yourself doing a spectacular job, and to hold that image and that image alone in the hours leading up to your speaking engagement.

Visualization is a technique that is routinely used by some of the world’s greatest athletes.

My favorite story is of Michael Phelps, the 14-time Olympic gold medalist, whose coach, Bob Bowman, got Phelps into the practice of visualizing success every night before going to sleep from the time he was 12 years old.

Phelps would visualize himself overcoming every obstacle imaginable to swim to victory. It was a mental tape that he played over and over again to the point where it became second nature to him.

At the 2008 Beijing Olympics, during the 200-meter butterfly race, when water leaked into his goggles, completely impairing his visibility, Phelps did not panic. He knew exactly how many strokes he needed to hit the wall, closed his eyes, and got kicking. The result? He broke his own previous world record.

When it comes to public speaking, any number of things could throw you off balance – maybe your visual aids stop working or you get bombarded with tough questions afterwards. But, if you have played your own mental tape of success enough times beforehand, your confidence will be unshakeable.

Three, practice. Practice. Practice

Finally, like anything, the only way to get over your fear of public speaking is to actually do it, not once, not twice, but many times. The more you do it, the better you will get.

I know there is a powerful and engaging speaker within you. Change your mental script, visualize success and practice at every opportunity, and you are on your way to dazzling audiences everywhere.