Oh, what the hell…

Dear Friend,

As a productive and ambitious person, I’m sure you’ve experienced the feeling of being “in the zone”…

 You are eating right
 You are working out 3x a week
 You are meditating and journaling every single day
 You are getting stuff done
 You are working according to your plan

In other words, you are at the top of your game!

But then, all of a sudden, something happens that breaks your success streak…

It’s a friend’s or colleague’s birthday, and you can’t say no to that piece of cake. It’s just one piece of cake, after all.

Or, work was so hectic, and you missed one workout, then another, and another.

Or, you experienced an unexpected setback that has shattered your peace of mind, and now you just can’t get back to your usual routine.

And you think, “Oh, what the hell…”

 “I had one cookie. I might as well eat the whole packet now.”
 “I missed a few workouts. I might as well give up on my fitness goals.”
 “I missed my target for this year. Maybe I’ll just write this year off. And start fresh next year.”

This is the “What-the-hell” effect, and it can be one of the biggest things that derails your success in creating new habits and building a new life…

While this phrase was originally coined by researchers to apply to dieting-related failures, this effect can actually apply to any setback in life…

So, how do you break the “what-the-hell” cycle and get back on track?

You have two choices:

You can either feel sorry for yourself, and beat yourself up for falling off the wagon.
OR
You can exercise self-compassion, and re-commit to your goals in a gentle way.

In one weight-loss study, researcher Kelly McGonigal found that those who practiced self-compassion lost 2x as much weight and stuck with their diet 2x as long, as compared to those who gave in to the “what-the-hell” effect and practiced self-criticism.

 How do you practice self-compassion? 
Create a self-compassion message that you can use whenever you experience a setback.

A self-compassion message has 3 components –
1.     Mindfulness of your feelings,
2.     Acknowledgment of Common Humanity, and
3.     Encouragement over criticism, with a focus on gentle steps

For example, you might say something like – “I feel guilty right now, but that’s ok. We all make mistakes. Let me see what small action I can take to get back on track.”

Write back to me and tell me, “What is a self-compassion message you can use whenever you experience a setback?”

Remember, setbacks are inevitable, but how you deal with those setbacks is a conscious choice that you make.

So, choose wisely.

With 3 months left in the year, there’s still a lot you can do to finish strong. Let’s choose to rise above our failures today!