Who do you TALK to the most?

Dear Friend,

Who do you TALK to the most?

Is it your colleagues?

Is it your children?

Is it your spouse or partner?

Truth is it is none of the above.

The person you talk to the most is … YOURSELF.

We have anywhere from 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts a day (and that number doubles on days we are feeling more anxious).

As Ethan Cross writes in his book Chatter, a lot of those thoughts occur within the context of Self-Talk.

Whether you like it or not – you are in a constant dialogue with yourself.

Whether you are looking at yourself in the mirror – “Gosh, what’s with my bloated stomach today?”

Whether you are working up the courage to talk to someone at work or a social event – “I wonder how I am coming across. I wonder what he is thinking about me right now.”

OR you are reading and re-reading the contents of an important email. “I hope this sounds OK. I hope she takes this well.”

Sometimes these conversations you have with yourself are supportive, encouraging, and rational.

Other times, these “little voices” in your head can be downright negative, undermining, and anxiety-inducing.

If you want to be:

Happier
More successful
More loving with yourself, and others

Then, you will benefit from building greater awareness of this inner mental chatter, because more than the experiences in your life, what determines your level of happiness and your level of performance in any situation – how you show up – is a function of not the activity or experience itself but how you are thinking about it in your mind.

You could be in the most beautiful place in the world, but if your mental chatter is stuck on something negative, it will sour the experience for you.

You could have just achieved something significant, but if your mental chatter is telling you it is nothing special, that achievement will not translate into greater confidence for you.

So here’s a question for you: Are you willing to change what’s dragging you down?

Warmly,
Bhavna Toor
Chief Mindfulness Officer
Shenomics