The 4-letter word that stops most of us…

Dear Friend,

Ask anyone you meet about their hopes and dreams,
and you will find many who are holding on to an un-lived dream.

Why?

Because of the dreaded four-letter word.

FEAR.

Fear of Failure: What if it doesn’t go well, and I fail?
Fear of Judgment: What will people think of me?
Fear of Rejection: What if I lose my place (and the respect I currently have) in the community?
Fear of Success: What if I am not able to handle the new demands my success would entail?

So, how do we liberate ourselves from the clutches of this dreaded feeling?

Here is one thing that is useful to know about fear –

Fear loves vagueness!

When the thing that you fear is undefined and amorphous, it allows fear to grow. In the absence of specificity, the mind goes rogue and magnifies the perceived dangers and threats.

It’s like the character Voldemort in the Harry Potter series, otherwise known as “He who shall not be named.”

As long as you don’t name him, his power over you only grows in that shadowy darkness. And that is how he gets to control you.

What’s the antidote?

We need to turn toward our fears,
And define them as clearly as possible if we want to take our power back from our fears.

Here is one framework by Tim Ferris that I love:
DEFINE – PREVENT – REPAIR

Example: Let’s say, you are not sharing your ideas more publicly because you are afraid of people judging you.

Step One: DEFINE
What exactly are you afraid of?
Who exactly do you believe will judge you?
If they do judge you, what is the worst that will happen?

Step Two: PREVENT
How can you prevent this fear from getting in your way?
You could focus on how you would add value to others with your ideas.
You could spend time understanding what your audience values, so your message or idea resonates with them.
You could beta-test your idea with a smaller audience first, before you take it public

Step Three: REPAIR
If this fear does come true, how would you handle it?
You can choose to ignore detractors
You can choose to engage any negative feedback head-on, and defend your idea
You can learn from this experience, and try again based on what worked and what didn’t

The lesson here is clear and simple: Pull your fears out from the shadowy darkness and expose them to the light of your logical and reasoning mind, and you will find what you previously thought was a tiger is just a small mouse that you can handle!